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it's so precious
the feeling of knowing that your boss is on your side.for the longest time i've not had great bosses; i had to tiptoe / prove my worth / work doubly hard to 'earn' my stripes.
mistakes were immediately pointed out; there was never a well done. had a boss who took compassionate leave for her grandmother-in-law's funeral while i was down with Covid and working from home.
but for once i guess it's nice to know that my boss recognises my efforts.
we shall see how it translates but at least today she didn't try to justify the other boss's actions, she didn't point out areas where i needed to further improve. she just listened and heard my frustrations.
and that was what i needed.
never-ending
it's october but i am so ready for christmas.this year has been a never-ending series of deadlines. i wish i could take a break but nooooo.
mar - apr: intensive dd
may: dd while on offsite
jun: prep for final ic
jul: final ic
aug: start documentation
sep: closed 4 investors + AGM
oct: start dd for another investor
OMG WHAT IS DISSSSSS
it's ok 22 oct kl trip; 16 dec hanoi/danang trip; jan 13th month; MAR BONUS$$$
papa
there's something about Murphy's law - when it rains, it TRULY pours.last week my calendar for this afternoon seemed clear with the exception of a meeting that i thought i could skip. but within a week, i had back to backs from 2pm / 2.30pm / 3.30pm / 4pm / 5pm; it was an avalanche.
and these all came in after i had agreed to take my dad to the eye centre for his day op which was slated for 3pm today.
I TELL YOU. it's like the universe knew to conspire against me today. and then my calendar tomorrow is EMPTY. but such is life right so we roll with it.
i haven't realised my papa has grown so old. he's now frail and he's shrunken to a size i can't really recognise. i look like a giant next to him. his hair is no longer as black as i remembered and he's a splitting image of my grandfather.
where did all the time go? he used to be my papa; driving us around, carrying us and throwing us in the air.
now i'm driving him home from the hospital; holding him by the arm, slowing down my steps to make sure he can keep up.
how does one put in words what this emotion feels like? i can't quite describe it. seeing my papa who has poured his whole life into ensuring i have a good life, ageing so quickly. he doesn't even have much strength in his legs to go see the world anymore.
:'(
the esplanade
it's been tough going back to the esplanade; even with my parents / other people because i caught quite a few shows there with a specific person and said person also broke up with me after i cried at the toastbox on level 1. maybe they were linked; i'd never know.but going back today and watching Legally Blonde (on my own, no less, and out of my own accord), somehow something shifted.
i texted my sister and truly believed that 2023 me was a nutcase crying becaue my then boyfriend left me on the escalator going down while he ran to the toilet. and yes, valid feelings of abandonment then but now on hindsight (always 20-20); very laughable.
i think he couldn't handle me who couldn't handle myself and i guess(?) thankfully we broke up.
LOL but jokes aside i'm so pleased with how the theatre scene has grown (baby steps; given the shows are mainstream but wow West End level of singing). it does feel like we are developing some semblence of an appreciation for the arts. it'll definitely take more time to mature but the next generation might get us a step closer.
happy mother's day
another very layered holiday hahabut the pastor today said this 'your value to God is not dependent on your ability to reproduce. God loves you, regardless.'
& i think my soul really needed to hear that.
life on hard mode
i thought 2025 was bad enough.WHY IS 2026 STILL SO HARD???!!! hahhahha
it's been a while
running into a certain kid and his dad on said kid's birthday was not on my 2026 bingo card.somehow the body remembers the anxiety.
and i've stopped crying. although the head and the heart are still trying to get on the same page.
the body is healing; moving on; letting go.
also DID MY FIRST HYROX DOUBLES
note to self: never again.
“some people feel like they don't deserve love. they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
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