just came back from youth camp and i'm tired + slightly feverish + stomachache-ish + sore throatish + puffy eyed. my eyes are so puffy i don't have double eyelids anymore. it's that bad. and it's been that bad since 2 pm when i woke up in the car. goodness gracious me. anyway, back to youth camp. i'll do it sub-topically

i) the pastor and his message

Pastor Jude Fouquier is really good and impactful but somehow i think that i've drifted a long long way and i need to get right with God before I can apply whatever Ps Jude was talking about. He's really animated and interesting but there are so so so many times when there is an anticlimax. somehow whenever he wants us to clap it doesn't feel appropriate so he'll have to ask us to clap which is just weird. anyway, i got more inspiration from Ps Becky though. Her life story touched me and she's been through an eating disorder but she's had 3 sons even after that. It was as though God was telling me if she could do it then so could you only if you fully believe in Me. Ps Becky also shared how it was of paramount importance to put God before anything else. Get right with God and God will take care of everything else. She prayed for me and I believe that I will be able to recover fully.

ii) the games

games are what makes a camp a camp. this year i would say the games aren't as whacky as the previous one i went to cus it's a hotel and so in a hotel we can't play around in the hotel so we went to a field to play. i hate mayonaise. it is disgustingly yucky and sticky and oily and REPULSIVE. but i'm glad for my group esp. my group leader, Gladys Soh. she's really enthu and high and i think that really got the group high as well. it rubbed off on us and i've enjoyed myself even though people usually don't really like playing in groups i think i've made new friends and i've had fun with the group par one.

iii) the hotel

the hotel is TERRIBLE. it is in this dingy stretch full of thai massage parlours and who knows what goes on behind that facade of a 'massage parlour'. anyway, there were 300 youths squeezed into that hotel with ONLY 4 lifts serving the entire block of rooms. it was bad. real bad. the lift would take forever so we ended up walking up and down the stairs that stank so badly of cigarette smoke. oh well. it was good exercise i guess. and there were very many Pakistanis who were staying at the same hotel as well and it was an interesting experience.

i went for the camp with a heart expecting good things from the Lord, for the Lord to show me direction for my life and for my future. what i've heard from the Lord was to go to a college in Seattle and go to Ps Jude's church to see for myself what the youth group there is achieving. Not that i don't believe him but i want to see with my own eyes how the Lord is using youths in the US and i want to be used in a similar way as well. i think my annointing and call is for anorexic girls having been through what they have been through i want to tell them that God loves them. That nobody else can judge them and that they are destroying the beautiful works of God. That's what i feel has been birthed upon me at the beginning of the year and listening to Ps Becky only reinforced the burden i had for these girls. i will continue to walk close with the Lord to see where He wants me to go.

okay now back to mugging for blocks after that one week hiatus. there is so much shiat coming my way man. oh Lord, i can only believe.