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LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
today was the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. it was surreal as Li Shian said during our LAST MATH TUTORIAL. it really was. how finally after a dozen years in the clutches of the education system it all culminates in this. THE 'A' LEVELS.it's a weird feeling. like how you don't have to attend lessons formally EVER. how there won't be anymore morning assemblies EVER again. it's like a chunk of me being sliced away because it's been so engrained in me. This post will be my last for a really really long time. i'm locking my laptop for good now. and i'm REALLY going to do so this time. there's only 16 days left to prelims and the heat is on. i need to start the machinery. MUCH AS I HATE TO.
i entered Hwachong with only one goal in mind - 4 As. i know it's a very stupid goal, but back then when i was naive and innocent and on the top of the world i actually thought i could achieve it. maybe i could. i just need somebody to tell me that i can. but i feel so helpless, vacillating between hope and despair. but now i know i have acquired so much more. i have forged great strong friendships, i have met so many different people, some who i may meet again when i enter the corporate world. some who may become ministers, or even CEOs of huge banks. i'm thankful for the window of opportunities that have been open to me and i guess all that's left is for me to take what i've been given and persevere.
while making mr white's card and laughing at chuazy's drawing of the cat bouncing in the middle of the card, i wonder would i ever get to laugh like that again? laughter so innocent and pure that really makes my heart float. i really love my friends. we are the weirdest bunch ever, sitting in front of sunshine bakery waiting for a whole ten minutes for the aunty to finish making muah chee.
i will miss chuazy - with all her punny jokes and funny comments.she is always the life of the party. i will miss her unglam shots, dates to the library, tao kae noi, 300g suan mei. i will miss them all.
i will miss lawpy - her cute hand signals and those fierce eyes. going for H3 together, laughing at h.y and making spastic comments. her fetish for chicken rice & waffles, those 'fierce' eyes.
and i will miss xina - her crazy antics. the random comments she makes once in a while. the shopping sessions, sharing auntie anne's pretzels, doing weird random things like trying on the latest fashion trends in mark&spencer's.
i wonder. 10 years from now will we still be who we are. will we have changed? will we still be able to make those innocent comments again? i can't imagine not going to school to meet them,
all i need is somebody to tell me 'you can do it dorothy'. where is that somebody? T.T
Labels: last day of school
“some people feel like they don't deserve love. they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
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