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Bye Bye London
I've been looking at my senior's pictures of their travels on Facebook. The picturesque scenery, awesome views, breath-taking architecture, delectable-looking English teas; everything is just screaming out to me. I would love to go to London to study, the weather already looks perfect; respite from sunny, blisteringly hot Singapore but I think SMU would be a better choice for me.I have an interview with the 2nd Permanent Secretary of the Ministry on Monday and I'm supposed to be prepping for it but somehow I'm so relieved that I've made my decision I feel that the MOE scholarship doesn't really matter anymore. Seeing all those pretty pictures of London made me realise that the chances of me going to London to study is really low (considering how PSC recommended me for a LOCAL scholarship so unless I really blow the 2nd perm sec off her chair with my answers I don't think I'll be bumped up to an overseas scholarship). Moreover what Xina said was really true; am I gunning for a scholarship because I really want to be a teacher? Or is it because I want to study overseas? I think it's more of the latter BUT with the SMU scholarship I'll love to go to London for my exchange programme; I think that would something I'll appreciate even more especially since it'll be all paid for without a bond. I'll definitely pop by Oxford to get inspired by the quaint intelligent aura it exudes and of course to visit Chuazy :D
Somehow I'm walking away from my dreams of studying Geography in a place where the natural scenery and landforms are mind-blowing and it hurts a lot ;'( because all my dreams are crushed in one fell swoop. However, I think I'll appreciate the SMU scholarship even more and I'll use the allowance to fund my travels around the world which is actually the primary reason why I chose SMU over NTU; the inner me still wants to visit the River Thames, the River Lyn, Flambourough Head, Exmoor and all the places I'll have gotten to go to but missed out on. It is extremely painful but since I've made my decision I'll stick by it and face it with a smile.
“some people feel like they don't deserve love. they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
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