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and with that i leave my teenage years behind
somehow the birthday didn't feel like a birthday. as in i guess i've become accustomed to thinking that i'm already in my twentieth year of existence since everyone is already twenty and in a few days i have close friends turning 21. turning wiser (:
oh my i haven't been here in very long, and China banned all forms of individual expression e.g. livejournal, blogger and whatever blog platforms there may be. China was good, fell in love with the place, the vast expanse of land, of untapped potential. Made new friends, rethought existing friendships, ate wantons like they were free, but it's the special moments that would remain etched forever in my heart, like setting off a 孔明灯 into the night sky dotted with a million stars, or watching the lunar eclipse in ten degree weather freezing our toes off, and definitely playing with the kids. the children there are definitely not what we were expecting. well to quote my leader he wanted to help those who had 'fallen through the cracks' and these children definitely hadn't fallen through any crack, more like they were the ones who created cracks. i will forever remember the htht sessions over durian po lo paos which were like 80cents RMB each which is like $0.16 SGD. (aunty in me just shrieking 'SO CHEAP SO CHEAP' at this point in time)
i would love to go back to China, to work there, to learn the language (properly), to get lost in the huge cities, to spend time in the villages, to live there and make a difference, not just well touch-and-go. standing on the balcony and looking into the sky makes you feel so small, so insignificant, will you really be able to justify your existence? one more thing - China is seriously overpopulated. whoa the cities are like packed with people. my friend who stayed on till after Christmas told us that on Christmas day the crowds to take the MRT were so awful she was literally lifted off her feet and pushed into the MRT. where do all these people come from? and where does all their trash go??
i love that my birthday is at the end of the year, gives me the opportunity to look back at my last year as a teen, and to think of what i want for the year ahead.
in 2011, i've made many many many mistakes, too many to count, but i've also had the privilege of many new experiences, like going to the UK alone. EXPERIENCE OF A LIFETIME.
the new year is knocking, but to be honest, i'm not ready. so many things i haven't sorted out yet, pressing issues especially but i know that i'm just going to trust in my faith, trust in God and work things out slowly but surely.
“some people feel like they don't deserve love. they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
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