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Of Arranged Marriages
The notion
of an arranged marriage in this time and age may be enough for someone to
shriek ‘ISN’T THAT ILLEGAL?!’ but apparently in India that’s the norm. If you’re
still not married by age 23 (for girls) usually tongues will wag and parents
will wear furrowed brows trying every possible means to get you married off to
a husband.
According
to a colleague that’s the way things work for the middle classes and the upper
middle classes – people generally accept that marriage is THE most important
thing at the end of your life and some of her friends even skip out of college
because they know that they’re going to be married at the end of the year. So to
them a college education is not important and they’d rather spend the time
learning how to cook and clean for their household instead because that’s what
they’ll need to do for the rest of their lives instead of memorise scores of
formulae or figure out how the economy works. It’s an easy way out but that’s
what they have accepted as a fact and they don’t even try to challenge it.
Society’s notion (at least the more conservative portions of society) is that
people should be married by 24 max for girls. If you’re a 25 year old spinster
it means that you’re probably a freak show or something. Even for my colleague,
the really nice girl, the deadline for her marriage has been set and her
parents are looking for a groom for her so that she’ll get married by the end
of the next year.
There are
two sides of the coin I guess – these marriages are so common in society that
it’s not surprising. Both bride and groom are willing to enter into these
marriages either way, and for my friend she thinks she can’t really do a good
job finding a husband herself so why not let her parents decide for her. I know
every single feminist particle in me is screaming ‘but what about true love’,
but sometimes practicality trumps all these fantasies we may have about meeting
THE one and falling in love.
It really
depends on society and the views that are subscribed to but in all honesty how
is it possible to go against this tide (or tsunami rather) that has been
flowing in a certain direction for the longest time ever? The other colleague
who has rather educated parents allow her to go as she likes and she smokes,
drinks, etc which is seriously frowned
on in India. Girls are supposed to be meek and docile, submissive to their
parents and whatnot. I wonder what it’s like to be married to a man you hardly
know, or to have to cook and clean for him for the rest of your life. Oh well I
hope I never know.
But
nonetheless I’m really happy for all the friends out there who’ve found their
other halves ;) you know who you are and you deserve it <3
“some people feel like they don't deserve love. they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
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