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i'm doing this for you
because if i did it for me, i'll never get round to doing it.
so this has plagued me for 6 years and counting, and i've never really looked at the undercurrents of it. but last year, on my 21st birthday i decided that this should stop. this cycle of self-hate. of crying myself to sleep and then waking up and hating what i see in the mirror and then turning to something that perpetuates that cycle. and i slipped up again.
so today, i decided that i'm not going to do this anymore. simply because i have so many friends/family members who love me. if i were to continue on this way i have no idea what else i will put into my body that has been so badly battered and weary.
something about an e-hello kitty heart made me wake up and realise that i have so many friends who love me in a befuddling way that i can't wrap my brain around. and so this starts the process of taking baby steps towards finding and loving myself.
food for thought: http://www.ted.com/talks/cameron_russell_looks_aren_t_everything_believe_me_i_m_a_model.html
so this has plagued me for 6 years and counting, and i've never really looked at the undercurrents of it. but last year, on my 21st birthday i decided that this should stop. this cycle of self-hate. of crying myself to sleep and then waking up and hating what i see in the mirror and then turning to something that perpetuates that cycle. and i slipped up again.
so today, i decided that i'm not going to do this anymore. simply because i have so many friends/family members who love me. if i were to continue on this way i have no idea what else i will put into my body that has been so badly battered and weary.
something about an e-hello kitty heart made me wake up and realise that i have so many friends who love me in a befuddling way that i can't wrap my brain around. and so this starts the process of taking baby steps towards finding and loving myself.
food for thought: http://www.ted.com/talks/cameron_russell_looks_aren_t_everything_believe_me_i_m_a_model.html
“some people feel like they don't deserve love. they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
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