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standing firm for my faith
warning - long post about religion / life / musings ahead
religion has always been a touchy topic for me. maybe because i'm non-confrontational; i've always wanted to gain acceptance and so my brain has this defense mechanism wired in that i need people to like me and as a result i don't preach or evangelise to my non-Christian friends.
but this weekend has got me thinking because there is cause for concern. the world is spiraling into something that God no longer recognises.
i'll say that i'm thankful to be born into a Christian family - God probably put me there because He knew i might not have been 'converted' otherwise due to my headstrong personality + stubbornness + bitchiness. it's kind of funny how i could still call myself a Christian a few years ago / growing up because i didn't have any relationship with God. i merely went to church, did the hallelujah thing and then from monday to saturday lived my own life.
i think it's me coming of age but now i realise that my whole life, i've been doing things i've wanted to do. i wanted to go to HP because it's prestigious. i wanted to go overseas to study and i resented my parents for not being able to provide for that experience. i wanted to do public relations because it seemed fun and i thought it was a calling. and now, looking back at all the choices i made based on my desires, i'm starting to realise that they might not have been the best choices. well, i was stubborn, headstrong and refusing to heed advice. but God let me go the ways i wanted because He's a loving Father.
the devil has made huge strides in trying to get me off course. i've been through anorexia, and i think i'm still battling self-esteem issues, low self confidence, and letting my weight dictate how i feel. i've caused so much havoc and destruction in my home because of the anguish and battles playing out in my head. it's ridiculous but yet i'm sure there are so many girls out there who have fought the same wars.
nonetheless, my parents have been ever loving and i'm realising now after 24 years and four months that my life is not my own - it's God's. i want to live up to my name, Gift of God, and be a gift to my family, friends and colleagues even if it means standing up for what's unpopular.
it's not about being well-liked. it's about standing up for what's right. i'm not perfect; but He is.
religion has always been a touchy topic for me. maybe because i'm non-confrontational; i've always wanted to gain acceptance and so my brain has this defense mechanism wired in that i need people to like me and as a result i don't preach or evangelise to my non-Christian friends.
but this weekend has got me thinking because there is cause for concern. the world is spiraling into something that God no longer recognises.
i'll say that i'm thankful to be born into a Christian family - God probably put me there because He knew i might not have been 'converted' otherwise due to my headstrong personality + stubbornness + bitchiness. it's kind of funny how i could still call myself a Christian a few years ago / growing up because i didn't have any relationship with God. i merely went to church, did the hallelujah thing and then from monday to saturday lived my own life.
i think it's me coming of age but now i realise that my whole life, i've been doing things i've wanted to do. i wanted to go to HP because it's prestigious. i wanted to go overseas to study and i resented my parents for not being able to provide for that experience. i wanted to do public relations because it seemed fun and i thought it was a calling. and now, looking back at all the choices i made based on my desires, i'm starting to realise that they might not have been the best choices. well, i was stubborn, headstrong and refusing to heed advice. but God let me go the ways i wanted because He's a loving Father.
the devil has made huge strides in trying to get me off course. i've been through anorexia, and i think i'm still battling self-esteem issues, low self confidence, and letting my weight dictate how i feel. i've caused so much havoc and destruction in my home because of the anguish and battles playing out in my head. it's ridiculous but yet i'm sure there are so many girls out there who have fought the same wars.
nonetheless, my parents have been ever loving and i'm realising now after 24 years and four months that my life is not my own - it's God's. i want to live up to my name, Gift of God, and be a gift to my family, friends and colleagues even if it means standing up for what's unpopular.
it's not about being well-liked. it's about standing up for what's right. i'm not perfect; but He is.
“some people feel like they don't deserve love. they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
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